A Farrago of Absurdities, Tuesday, Aug. 19th

A Farrago of Absurdities is a daily log of ALL the ridiculous things that I overhear or things that make me angry that don’t necessarily make the cut for FB. Peruse at your own dismay.


Everyone please take a moment and appreciate that you are alive in the era of Beyonce.


One of the questions we have on an assignment for K-3 students is: “Close the sale. Why should we buy your shoe?”
Six-year old student: “I need to make money.”
Me too, buddy, me too.


Today I saw three middle school girls sitting on the floor, each with their own phone and earbuds in. They sat in a circle listening to their own respective music choices … it would seem isolationist, except that they were finishing an entire Oreos sleeve together. Truly, this is friendship.


Everyone is always annoyed at infants on airplanes or public transportation: “What do they need? Breast milk? Sleep? A healthy smacking?” All babies are probably just thinking “I don’t give a fuck what you sycophants think. I am going to exercise the full capacity of my lungs while it is still socially acceptable to do so. Bow down, bitches.”


Every day when I come home from work I need at least 20 minutes of Lay Down Time. I’m not taking a nap, or texting anyone, or listening to music. It is actually just me laying on my bed and laying. It is unclear to me how anyone survives in the world without Lay Down Time.


I love to get 2 On but I am always 2 Off.


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