A Farrago of Absurdities, Friday, Aug. 22nd

A Farrago of Absurdities is a daily log of ALL the ridiculous things that I overhear or things that make me angry that don’t necessarily make the cut for FB. Peruse at your own dismay.

(Also apologies, I’m pretty bad at doing a something every day, so forgive me when I skip days)

 

Me: “What are you looking forward to?”
Student: “The only subject I like is Geography.”
You go, kid. Why did geography fall out of popularity in school and life? Geography is straight up the most underrated subject there is — learning how to read maps and shit is so useful. If geography had been my favorite subject I probably wouldn’t have to drain 80% of my phone battery every time I go somewhere new.

 

Me: “What is your favorite state?”
Third grade student: “The C-A.” (Good job, son. That’s the only answer to give) “But my second favorite state is New York.”
Me: “Why?”
Student: “It just is.”
HOW. HOW IS THE SOCIALIZATION TO FALL IN LOVE WITH NEW YORK ALREADY COMPLETE BY THIRD GRADE?!

 

Who invented the cubicle? Who decided it would be a good idea to keep humans penned up in drab grey boxes with carpet walls for eight hours a day? Was it Satan? It probably was. Damn Lucifer, you pulled a good one on us with these things.

 

Me: “So what’re y’all up to this weekend?”
Student 1: “I’m going to Vegas!”
Student 2: “I’m going snorkeling with the dolphins in Hawaii!”
Student 3: “What?! Me too! I’m going to Maui!”
Don’t talk to me. Everyone stop talking. I don’t want to hear it. FORGET I EVER INQUIRED ABOUT YOUR LIVES

 

8-year old student: “How come the world is all of a sudden going bonkers today?”
Oh honey. It’s been going bonkers for a while now. I’m just sad that with only eight years on this Earth, you’ve already come to this realization.

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