A Farrago of Absurdities, Thursday, Oct. 23rd

A Farrago of Absurdities is a log of ALL the ridiculous things that I overhear or things that make me angry that don’t necessarily make the cut for FB. Peruse at your own dismay.


At the pool yesterday, I overheard the following dialogue:
Kid 1: “I can’t wait until Joe gets here!”
Kid 2: “Yeah, I want to sit on Joe’s face!”
Well then.


I went on a spontaneous trip to the Bay Area a few weeks ago, and here are a few absurdities that happened to me:


It was a fine, clear day in the Bay, and for some reason the fire department had listed the fire danger as “high.” Like how is this decided? I imagine the fire chief stepping out in the early morning, taking a glance around and going “Ah yes, today it is 60 percent likely that a fire will begin somewhere in the city.”


Walking up Bancroft St. in Berkeley, I passed a woman with her windows rolled down, passionately belting Kelly Clarkson’s “Because of You.” In the same moment, a freshman student passed by me crying. Just half a block up, two old men (must have at least been in their 60’s or 70’s) were conversing outside a building and one said to the other, “Well you’re getting around!” Freedom, misery, and the apparent celebration of an old man’s sexual prowess, all in one city block.


Inside a cafe on Berkeley’s campus stood an antique check writer. Just in case, you know, someone needs their check cut, there’s one lounging on the shelf next to wear students stand in line for food.


For lunch I ate at one of my favorite Thai restaurants. An older couple, man and woman, were ruminating on life by the window. At one point the woman leaves to the go the bathroom, and she leaves for the while. I watch the old man wait patiently for his friend to finish up. He looks over at me at one point, and we both know she’s taking a dump. When she finally does come out, the first thing she announces is, “Everything went right through!” This is the kind of friendship I want to have when I’m older.


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